some things about me...
-i almost always ask people what their birthday is upon our first meeting. I’m an astrological sign freak. and i fully expect people dear to me to ask their potential love interests what their birthday is. I MUST KNOW!
-i have a horrible habbit of not saying hi to people or otherwise acknowledging their existence. to some, it comes off as bitchiness, to others it is shyness. rarely is it because i don’t like the person, as i tend to either absolutely love someone or be totally indifferent. my apologies in advance to anyone affected by this - I’m working on it, i swear. and if you wanna say hi - you should! and I’m working on letting people know what they mean to me...
-i believe deeply in karma. i still fuck up, but being extremely aware of every decision i make is wonderfully challenging and rewarding. it makes far more sense to me to make good decisions right now than to screw up and ask for forgiveness later. i remember the exact moment i realized just how much the most minute movement can effect the air in a way that changes someone elses reaction. we contain such power when it comes to sculpting our own realities, yet at the same time it’s still such a matter of falling into puddles and splashing them all around...
-sex is, to me, the ultimate form of spiritual expression. not to say every sexual experience has that sense of gravity attached to it. casualness can be very necessary and really fucking fun. but it’s the ultimate tool of self discovery; it’s art, it’s leisure, it’s expressive and it’s lusciously magical.
-i have some serious issues with catholicism as well as conservatism. I try not to judge and i try not to become bitter, but as i grow older, the principles i believe in dictate that these modes of thought are not acceptable things to have existing in my personal space and reality. this furthers my drive to study these things so that at least i can back up what might be seen as bitterness with understanding and knowledge. i can’t wait to do a case study on catholicism and women. i have 4 specific women in mind.
-i believe that the concept of armageddon is pretty viable, though I’m not at all christian. the end of the world may in fact be “upon us,” but it doesn’t scare me and i surely don’t say that as a fundamentalist trying to freak you out, for it’s all our own doing. our culture is one built around fear, and biblical tales of the end of the world and the “rapture” are too much a part of our collective conciousness for them to hold no sway in how our “fate” is sculpted. history teaches lessons, and we either learn them or we don’t. the track this world is on is pretty clear. i do what i can to make the changes i want to see starting at a very small level. i believe that open gratitude for all of the wonderful things in life is one of the most important expressions one can make, and the horrendous things being enacted all around us only make things more beautiful to me. live it up, baby!
-if someone does come along who i feel strongly enough about not to like(as opposed to the indifference i spoke of before), i won’t act out against them and i won’t express my dislike to others for the most part. i am, however, 100% comfortable with my decision to just not have that person in my physical space. if they come around, i will very simply leave. not a problem.
-i am hellaciously afraid of spiders. i know it’s irrational, but they freak me out. there is one crawling up the wall in my hall way right now and i kinda feel the need to go have a talk with it. you see, i also believe in spider karma which doesn’t allow me to kill them. we make agreements, me and the spiders: you remove yourself from my sight and don’t crawl in my mouth while i sleep, and I’ll ignore you. unless they’re really really big, in which case i might try to battle them with any combination of panic attacks, bottles of windex and brave neighbors or friends.[editor’s note: to the big, huge, wooly mammoth spider currently inhabiting my laundry room - please please go away. my clothes are starting to smell.]
-I’m crazy, it’s true. but it’s a pretty safe insanity. I’m very comfortable with it, and i use it for good. most of the time. I’m pretty level headed, and I’ve got a handle on my neurosis as well as my flaws. i was recently on a form of birth control that made me feel like a true blue, moody, emotional, crazy female. i did not like it at all and promptly stopped taking said birth control.
-my brother is an actual diagnosed schitzophrenic, so I’m particularly in tune with throwing the term “psycho” around. it’s a frightening disease. it’s something i rarely discuss, as virtually no one in our society has any kind of reference point for something as dark and alienating as actual insanity. it’s not a joking matter at all, though i understand the need for humor to cover up the things we are not comfortable with.
-i will not under any circumstances listen to eminem. he may be clever and talented, but there is no room for that brand of hatred in my life. ever.
-i adore volcanos. they fascinate the hell out of me, enough so that I’m pretty sure i had an encounter with a pretty powerful one in a past life.
-masturbation is a great, great thing. i can go without sex. i cannot go without orgasm.
-i change my handwriting as i feel necessary. i think i might have recently made the “final” change. we shall see.
-I’ve been in a lot of musicals. I’ve recently been mildly tossing around the idea that i might need to return to my life as a singer. it’s been a long, long time.
-as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to terms with a side of me that is actually bitchy. i never thought it was there. along with the bitchy side has come the mothering side which sometimes complusively needs to make people food and play hostess. it’s kinda fun.
-I’m a recovering target junkie. i haven’t shopped there in almost a year. i prefer to avoid chains in general, specifically ones i know for a fact donate money towards causes I’m against. i try to be a smart shopper, and while I’m not gonna hammer myself too hard if i fail, I’m pretty proud of the progress I’ve made. whole foods is my grocery store of choice, and while it’s a bit more expensive, i figure i can’t put a price on what i put into my body. i buy fruit and veggies at a local market. that said, i still can’t break the rule that i have to have mac n cheese available for late night munch fests.
-i wear a size 12 shoe.
-i make squeaky noises when i stretch. which happens frequently.
-I’ve only seen 2 movies in theaters in the past year and 3 months. farenheit 911 and the phantom of the opera(which my mom took me to see during christmas time).
-one of the only things I’m compulsive about is chapstick.
-i always smell books. there’s always a chance you’ll catch some old book smell. and that is a wonderful risk to take.
