Sunday, August 31, 2003

letting go...

i just typed that and then my mom came in to bitch about something. yeah, i'm definitely not over that.

but anyway.

this weekend has seen 3 changes in my thinking. one...johnny and rachel have been out with us twice this weekend. and i'm over it. granted, it took me almost 3 years to get there, but i just don't have the energy to be bitter and spiteful and angry with them(though they were always muted responses.) i'm must over it. i haven't talked to rachel in almost 3 years. i'm not ever going to have a relationship with her again, but at least when i walk into a room and she's there, i don't start laughing.

jeremy and casey...well, they should probably be two seperate things. casey would go in the johnny, rachel category. i'm just over it. over her. she's gonna be around, fine. whatever. jeremy...gave me the biggest hug of all time last night when i was leaving. i know that's his way of telling me how much he loves me. his hugs speak a thousand words. we talked a bit by ourselves last night, after not really even acknowledging eachother all weekend. there's a lot to repair there. a lot. and i don't know if i want it to be or if it will be. but we'll see.

finally, i said goodbye to paul last night. he leaves tuesday for a year. going to palestine to go to a university. i don't think any of us, including him, grasps the full scope of that. but it was a strange goodbye. i just hope the power of my mind can protect him all the way over there.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

let's start at the very beginning. a very good place to start.

i guess "the beginning" as far as i'm concerned right now is the phoenix show, because everything since then has been an absolute blur. i had a blast at the phoenix show, and during the 3 days i was in AZ. it was so cool to be able to go to a show with my tucson friends. aden has been a fan for a long time, but has always sat lawn. it made me giggle to keep looking over at him standing next to me, second row, with this huge shit eating grin on his face. we hugged and laughed and danced and were both overjoyed together. and damn...cortez and jimi that night. good lord. don't think i've caught up with that just yet.

so then it was home for a week to work and stuff before i hit 6 more shows.

shoreline...

shoreline was an awesome weekend. i've become quite the fan of the smaller gatherings, and the fact that this one was really just me, bill and bri(with very special guests) made me really excited, and left me very satisfied. no, not in that way, thanks. ew. anyway. the shows...were magical. i had no one to sit with either night, so i ended up with the bros. huff and we just had a blast. that venue IS the venue to be at. there isn't a better one. the crowd was out of control(in a good way), the sound was absolutely phenomenal, and the band was just tight.

hold up. i gotta pull up the set lists and look at them.

wait no. i'll do more specific reviews later.

maybe.

all i can say is those two shows very well might have ruined me forever as far as dmb shows go. they were just perfect in so many different ways.

portland...vancouver...

there was all kinds of other stuff going on in this period of time. boys. yeah. stuff. definitely met someone who brought a lot to my life.

anyway.

the gorge, as i've said, was also perfect. i still haven't quite recovered. i think my summary last week or whenever it was is pretty right on. i picked up some of my loves at the airport early wednesday morning. it was so strange...because i'd been on the go for 5 or 6 days already, i really hadn't had a chance to get ready for the gorge. mentally. physically. i wasn't excited til i was woken up by scotty at 10, asking me to come pick him up. and then it all clicked. i went and got them, immediately lit a joint in the car, and everything was perfect. it was brisk outside, sunny...

and i had to take the 3 of them back to my house so i could attempt to pack. yeah, that was funny. stoned, excited, ADD amanda trying to pack. hahahahaha.

so that all happened. and then we went to iver's to get fish & chips at the waterfront. and then we got waffle cones . and then we drove out to mel and lisa's...

wait,no. i don't think i'm making the perfection of this day clear. it was a perfect temperature. sun shining. good people. good music. it was GORGE weekend, baby!

so mel and lisa's...they have a new place and it's more than adorable. i hadn't seen it since they moved in(have i mentioned how many 12 hour shifts i worked in the past few months? good lord.) while waiting for matias and jen to arrive, lisa and i sat on a blanket underneath a birch tree in their front yard and caught up on the events of the previous few weeks.

more people arrived...we drank, we chatted, i'm sure there was a wee bit of smoking in there somewhere... definitely a good pre-gorge shindig.

the next day we headed out for 2 days of camping and sunshine and life and love.

oh, and dmb too.

the shows were amazing. that venue is so breathtaking. i do have to say that the crowd sucked this year, but i excel at blocking them out.

one word: minarets.

yeah.

hi.

ummmm....what else? our day at the park was probably the best day ever. kickball tournament. swimming in the [fuckingfreezingicecold] river. utopia utopia utopia. i was very quiet this trip, i think. lots of observing going on. didn't drink even a fraction as much as i usually do. smoked just as much.

that night, after the show, we all got ridiculously high. i think i might have been tripping. so many hilarious things happened. from being on the verge of a pee-triangle, to 2 seconds after we decided it wasn't a good idea, having someone turn their headlights on, aimed right at the spot where said triangle would have been. to trying to figure out if i was walking on dirt or moss or rock or mud. to the girls-only circle with the outburstial "ya-ya's" being said with more umph than ashley judd every could have dreamed. to a moment of truth where me and 3 of my lovely guy friends became deer in headlights who were certain the cops were going to bust them...

it was perfect. have i said that before? i couldn't have asked for a better group of people to have shared it with, either.

ice and rach's bach parties were fantastic. don't know that i've ever had a better girls night. i'm so glad it all worked out. i'd been thinking about it for months prior, and it all really came together well the night of.

sunday, most everyone left. luckily, we were able to still see mel and lisa monday, and i was kind of able to ween myself of everyone. again, i can't help but remark on how lucky i am to have these people in my life.

of course, after 10 days of touring i was beyond exhausted. but...i had another week of work to get through. that didn't allow me any time to think about anything that had happened. be it the shows or specific events. my last week of work was wonderful, though. i sincerely love the people i worked with. they are all one of a kind. taking that job was definitely the right decision for me.

so then...i had a few days after my last day of work to do what i wanted. i had a really hard time committing to which day i was going to leave. ended up going to the sprite festival thingie sunday to see o.a.r. loved 'em, but it made me anxious for the next night when they were playing by themselves in portland. that festival was a good time though. the venue is quite nice, and we sat up on the lawn for a few of the acts, where you could see the mountain and the sunset. jesus. it was nice.

o.a.r. in portland was definitely the best i've seen them. the drive down there also gave me a lot of time to reflect, which was much needed. i got a lot of mel-time which was very important to me. that guy puts a lot of balance in my life.

in any case, we got ridiculously drunk before the show and just had a blast.

the next day, i packed up my shit, and left my house for good. went to mel and lisa's for my last two nights in washington. the day before i left was spent with lisa. we have got to be the biggest dorks of all time. we went to one of those coin machines in the grocery store TWICE that day. ran errands. lunch with mel.

then we went to the zoo. lisa got poo-ed on. it was hilarious.

then we got disgustingly huge ice cream sundaes.

and THEN we went home and made massive bacon wrapped scallops and watched "the hours."

it was an excellent ending to a very fast-paced, very very eventful summer.

whoosh.

so there you have it. kinda. details have been left out to protect the innocent(and the idiots.).

everyone that reads this that i haven't talked to in a while(that i usually do talk to) - i'm sorry! email me or something. call me. whatever. i'd love to catch up with you.

so now...back in tucson...that's another funny story in itself. but i'm already doubting that blogger will publish this whole thing, so hopefully this isn't a one time thing. hopefully i'll keep blogging.

ummmm...yeah, hi.

been a crazy few weeks. wait, no. crazy month. i'm back in arizona, but didn't have a working internet connection for a while. my computer died. trying to readjust. stuff like that. but i'm still alive, so there ya go.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Divided Sky
Divided Sky! You're peaceful and content, and would
like nothing more than to run out and fly a
kite on a nice summer day. Your personality is
complex and has several different facets, but
in general you just tend to be in a good mood,
which is why everyone likes you so much.


Which Phish Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hi.

my trip was amazing. absolutely amazing. the gorge brought the term "utopia" to a new height. absolutley no drama. no tension. no problems. perfect group of people. perfect weather. perfect shows. perfect suprises. perfect touches. perfect perfect perfect.

my computer at home is completely dead. which sucks because i have a lot of writing to do. my last day at work is saturday, which is much sadder than i could have dreamed. i'm leaving for tucson wednesday. i can't believe it's all drawing to an end. i can't believe all that i'm leaving with either.

more to come.