I think corporate america relies so entirely on people being lazy.

or rather...people being too job-dependant to really put up much of an active fuss about anything. That is so frightening.

And then, how far would you have to go to rise above it? Very interesting indeed.

For example...the voicemail ring tone on this phone vs my old phone is the same. However, it rings three more times on this "newer" version of the phone. Just now, when mine went off, I thought, "damn, that’s so annoying you really...have to go get it..." Wow. pig fuckers.

Really, they are. And we are so stupid! And I say all of this laughingly because, hey! I’m this stupid too! I was totally unaware until I started writing all of this based on that tangent.

See. Glad I got the thing open.

In other news, amazing show tonight. I’m not there, nor is it over. But 3 debuts so far. That just makes my heart sing. Cuz we know they’re headed west...

And so do they :)

July 19th 3:11pm
I’m listening to randi rhodes and she’s talking about how these polls coming out are not good at all. The ones that show dubya’s approval falling. Why? Because that means the republican party is extremely threatened and that is NOT a good thing. They will do something drastic. They are fighters and they demand control and they want to keep it. The polls are scary. And she is very right.

always the truth
smitten with gold
a liquid blanket of smooth motion
cover your hands,
your arms
your feet
the clarity that exists
steel gray blue wonder
out of it grows the sillouette of something i'm wanting to know
insanity, alone
intrinsic to (my being/my sight/my breath)
rain from a clear patch overehead
briskness, warmth and scent
you're perfect, you have me
entirely figured out
always in faith
clinging to my skin
it's resting down there
in my palm
a quiet continuity so stable it's falling off

Saturday July 10, 11:32pm

burps are definitely gross and I’m not always comfortable with my own.

That said, the all state dvd is on and dodo is about to start so I’m sure the tangents will start soon.

Once upon a time, when the world was just a pancake
Fears would arise, but if you went too far you’d fall
but with the passage of time, it all became more of a bore
we’re as sure of that as we all once were when the world was flat

The sound of people singing along at these shows is just beautiful. I remember it so long. Very distinct from any other concert experience. Well, no, that’s not entirely true. It was just like Vegas Everyday, but lasted throughout the whole show. Or at least I remember it for the Dave and Tim set of Oakland. From the sounds of this show, though, it was pretty continuous.

If all the things that you were saying love were true enough, well still
What is all the worrying about?
When we can work it out

more people need that mindset. Seriously. When Josh was asking me about the Mraz lyric I’d written on the rotation sheet today, and I was bouncing back and forth apparently confusingly between "yeah, I wrote that" and "no I didn’t,"I said something about wanting someone around who I could feel that way about. And then, I said that was a lie. That there were so many people like that in my life right now and I couldn’t possibly narrow it down. He was like "so you’re basically just loving life right now." And I said yes. "You’re just in love with everything." I said yes, I really really truly am. And he was just like "damn."

Hm. Maybe my life really did pause with that Oakland show. I mean, it was nearly 7 months ago...and I still seem to be stuck back there. I never fully realized how fucking amazing that show was.

http://aolsvc.digitalcity.com/seattle/entertainment/event.adp?evid=2102234&_dci_e_t=a&_dci_a_l=eletter

guess who's been really really wanting a tatoo?

guess who really really works at that exact center of seattle?

:)

i threw the most kick ass party last night. and it's really made me happy.

and ridiculously tired.

I saw the most amazing thing the other night. While outside on the sidewalk after ptowns Mutual Admiration Society concert...

These amazing musicians standing outside on the sidewalk just playing their hearts out for about 15 fans who’d stopped by to say hello and thanks.

I’m listening to "let it fall" right now and I’m so inspired to write but I’m having the hardest time getting the correct starting point.

So I guess I’ll start the song over.

I’ve been in love with nickel creek for a good few years now. Never seen them live. I guess if I would’ve let myself think about the MAS concert for what it really was(that being my 1st as well as their 1st...in that form at least) I would’ve been able to grasp and anticipate. But alas, I was not.

It was amazing. The chemistry between those people is so fluid yet semi hesitant and always wonderfuly melodic and all encompassing. Nickel creek has this amazing fluidity and depth and understanding of music theory as well as life in general. It’s non presumptuous and completely lucid. You add to that Glen Philips who is just on the same life level as them and they create a feeling that is very specific yet undefinable.

That said, the focus of my life right now while listening to this definite top 10 song, is that I got to see the four of them together on a sidewalk in downtown Portland sing it with more perfection. than I ever could have dreamed. Though his back was to me, tilted inwards towards the other 3, his arm was 12 inches from mine. It was just more than I could have asked for. Experiences like that supplement this already potent drug called music so infinitely. When they take time to connect like that...

( i wrote that a while ago. in summary: chris thile came out with his mandolin and played 2 songs on the sidewalk for about 15 of us after the show. then glenn came out and sang with him. then sara came out with her violin. add sean. we had all 4 of them doing a set for us right there. it was unbelievable.)

i wrote this sometime in july...

oh god, I just remembered nick.

I was thinking about how I’m always delving into what people love. With all my heart. But it’s rare that someone sits down and says "show me what you love."

But he said that exact fucking thing to me. That night he came over after a party. Hell, Rachel was still around. We teepeed matt’s room for April fool’s. we looked at those dahli’s I have in detail. And I remember I was questioning what dmb I should play for him. And he just said "amanda I want to hear whatever it is you absolutely love." So I put on the woodstock 41, and we went outside and talked. And he listens so beautifully and asks questions and really searches for understanding. And at one point he jumped up and said "yes! That is what it’s all about. You’ve figured it out."

And of course, he was actually meaning on a grand scale. He was referring to life in general and wasn’t skirting around and applying it more "practically."

Oh, the way that boy understands...
And right now I’m tempted to just call aden and tell him to keep a lookout for nick and somehow get me his phone number. I just need to TALK to him. Just see where he is and how he’s changed. It’s been over 2 years since we’ve really talked. Ouch.

About a month ago, Megs and I were at my friend Daun’s house. We were talking to Daun’s boyfriend, Don, and we somehow came to discuss how we really wanted fish. Coincidentally, the two were trying to get rid of their fish, as they had way too many, and so offered to let us have them. Fortunately for us, they also had a spare aquarium that they were willing to donate to the cause. Excitement.

So since Megs’ birthday is today and I am broke and she is out of town, I figured it’d be nice to have the aquarium waiting for her when she gets back on Wednesday. What a cool roommate I am.

I went to Daun’s last night to pick up our new friends. Of course, I went about this in typical Amanda fashion - not knowing anything whatsoever about anything. As Don drained the tank and I got high, I realized I knew nothing about fish tanks. Then, when faced with a bucket full of 14 fish, a 25 gallon tank, some water conditioner, food and a net, I started to kinda go "fuuuuuuck. I’m really not prepared for this."

So I made a temporary home for my bucket o’ fish on the floorboard on the passenger side of my car. I put the bucket in, and surrounded it by some random articles of clothing I had in the car in hopes that it wouldn’t tip. I then loosely placed a few plastic bags on top of said clothes, you know, just in case it spilled.

It was a tight operation I had going, let me tell you.

I went upstairs to say goodnight and thank you to my gracious donors, at which point, Don said something about the double speed bumps in their parking lot being tricky. I then realized just how carefully I was going to have to drive in order to not facilitate a mass suicide of fishies on my car floor.

The speed bumps were a doosie. That much is clear. I don’t think I would’ve make it safely over those things in any attempt. I just heard one big splash, and my eyes went wide and I decided I should briefly listen for flopping fish on plastic and then drive way more cautiously.

It was a traumatic drive home. Seattle streets are not well kept. The whole time I’m thinking to myself "these are now my children. After this trauma, they are my children. They have to make it home alive. And once we get there...HOW THE HELL DO I SET UP A 25 GALLON FISH TANK? What was I thinking? Why didn’t I wait til she got home!" And then I would catch brief glances of the bucket water in the streetlights, and realize how turbulent it was. I started telling the fish to resort to their natural storm instincts. I mean, when a fish is in the ocean...or...uh, a lake, seeing as these are fresh water fishies, they have to be able to cope with turbulence, right? Stormy weather? It has to be hard wired in this pet store variety somehow. Just like the cannibals in "Alive." Right? Remember, fishies, remember! You’re going to be ok! It’s not a hurricane, just a tropical storm!!

So then I got home, still clueless. I didn’t even have an idea as to where I was going to put this monster of a tank, let alone how I needed to fill it up, how I needed to treat the water, if it was OK to add the fish right away, if I should wait to feed them, how to hook up the filter...
Oh wait no, back up. After I brought the bucket inside and cleaned up all the water(none of them jumped overboard! Yay!), I was left with this tank that was far heavier than I could have imagined. And of course, the neighbor’s weren’t home. I sure am needly lately(mental note - write about the big black spider soon!). So me and my gimp back and leg and ankle began the trek up the stairs with the monster tank. Probably not the smartest idea, but my back actually feels better today than it has in a long time. Hm.

So then I just stare at stuff for a while. I start to research salt water aquariums on good. Wait, no. I take that back, I just typed those words in and then abandoned ship, because I really wasn’t sure it was salt water - which it ended up not being. Love my grammar.

So, I had to make a decision.

I called Greg.

I figured he knows a lot about a lot of random things, and he can explain things to me in ways I’ll understand.

It was such a good decision! I knew less than nothing and he perfectly explained to me in explicit detail what to do every step of the way. From putting the filter together, to how it hangs on the tank...to what temperature the water should be and how much I should fill it up and when to add the conditioner and the fish and plug in the filter...

It was just swell.

Of course, he also pretty much guaranteed me they’d all be dead in the morning. Apparently fish transport and transfer and set up is a much more fragile endeavor than I’d thought it was.
But, alas, they are all still here. Totally overcrowded in the monster tank, a little smelly, definitely poopy and totally devoid of anything cool in the tank.

But I sure am proud, and totally bonded. :)

hi guys.

i went ahead and made a new blog. not to say this one is going caput, i'll still update it, perhaps even more often than i have been. but i needed a new, more private forum to express some other thoughts i'm having.

that said, if you want the address, just email me. i'm not planning on being too super secret about it, but i also won't feel bad about declining anyone.

amandaATjustdmb.com

thanks :)

i have so much to publish on this thing. but it all needs editing. every single bit of it. and i just have no desire to do said editing, which is sad. and i refuse to just BLOG here. i have to type it out first in the journal file and then copy and paste. it's just more responsible towards my writing goals that way.

but what would be even MORE responsible would be if i actually did edit it and publish here.

i'm just too paranoid.

so i'm tossing around the idea of a new site. or maybe just an email list. i can't decide.

it is 10:45 on a saturday night and i am officially struggling to stay awake.

tonight is my monday night. wait, no, i take that back. it's like my 2nd sunday night, seeing as i'm working the next 12 days without interruption. in fact, without even a semi-break, since i'm working mostly doubles.

should be interesting :)