so i'm back...for good...for a while, at least.

the past two weeks have by far been the most incredible of my life. if i look at just the concerts themselves, i can put the experience of following the band around under that category. but then i add the people, and...well...i'm one lucky fool. it takes my breath away that i have fallen in with a crowd of people i so completely adore.

it's overwhelming, really.

but i really do feel deserving of everything that has happened.

i just can't even explain it. lol.

so i'm going to pull an amanda here and stop without explaining myself.

=)

just a little rundown, though, of the actual concert experiences...
fish monkey man debut
guests in albuquerque
guests in phoenix - one of the best shows i've ever been to. amazing crowd, amazing energy...
watching the progression of the whole fish -->bartender dealie ma bobber. that's an intense 15 minutes right there
santana at pac bell
getting to sit with huffy AND nate that night
trey at pac bell
popper in LA(the only redeeming quality of that show(oh! what's that! the un-opinionated one is doggin on a dmb show??!?!))
uhm. hello vegas. VEEEGAAAASSSSSS. the first night's energy was through the roof - and the whole 36/everyday thing...well, it's worthy of all the hype it's been getting. such a fucking great night.
second night - can i just say seek up and minarets? thank you buh bye.

that's some craaaaaazy shit...

well...this isn't looking hopeful...

i should really blog. i've been neglectful, and that's a truly terrible thing.

but all i can really say is that life just fucking rocks right now. i can't even quite grasp it yet.

maybe my thoughts will be in order after vegas.

(or maybe not.)

back from albuquerque and phoenix...more on that later.
here's some shite blogger never posted from the past few days...

[5/13/2001 12:24:16 PM | Amanda Moreno]
this cracked me the hell up.

i might just have to go buy that album.

i met glen phillips back when john came to town(because, you know. john and i are on a first name basis. =P). he did not break eye contact with me all through "walk on the ocean." this guy's got charisma, yo.

[edit]
[5/13/2001 10:37:05 AM | Amanda Moreno]
School's done.
I passed everything.
Not sure about all the grades yet, but I know I got at least one B, which is good enough for me at this point.
Albuquerque and Phoenix shows are just days away.
Pac Bell is in one week - and Nate has decided to join us.
Vegas is in two...

*massive sigh of relief*

this cracked me the hell up.

i might just have to go buy that album.

i met glen phillips back when john came to town(because, you know. john and i are on a first name basis. =P). he did not break eye contact with me all through "walk on the ocean." this guy's got charisma, yo.

School's done.
I passed everything.
Not sure about all the grades yet, but I know I got at least one B, which is good enough for me at this point.
Albuquerque and Phoenix shows are just days away.
Pac Bell is in one week - and Nate has decided to join us.
Vegas is in two...

*massive sigh of relief*

School's done.
I passed everything.
Not sure about all the grades yet, but I know I got at least one B, which is good enough for me at this point.
Albuquerque and Phoenix shows are just days away.
Pac Bell is in one week - and Nate has decided to join us.
Vegas is in two...

*massive sigh of relief*

=)

unbelievably stressful day. felt like i was hit by a train. one of those express ones. was caught taking my brother between jail and hospital and another hospital from 1-9. he was starting to loose it a bit towards the end, there - but i think we all were.

something good came out of it, though. i was able to sit down and focus to study for my final tomorrow. my theory rests. when i am happy, i cannot do well. focusing on school is the last thing i do. when i'm depressed/stressed out/something similar to those two, i do juuuust fine. the distraction is a welcome one.

heh.
lovely how that works, isn't it?

time to go say bye to jack. =(

i'll see him at the concert on tuesday though.

have i mentioned lately that i'm seeing four shows next week? well, i'm seeing four shows next week. oh yeah, and then three the next.

word.

right.

Two realizations for yesterday:

1.) I excel at pushing people away. Total pro. What's sad is I usually succeed whether I really want to or not. Maybe someone should make me stop this practice. Help!
2.) I really really really have nothing at all in common with a group of people I used to include as my friends. I went to Chris's last night for the first time in a good 6 months, and...well, I won't be going back. Not to say I don't like them, I just have nothing to say! They're all sitting around,snorting their lines of K, blasting techno...and...yeah. How the hell did I become friends with those people in the first place? Actually, last night provided some great closure.

amazing.

just got 4/12 john mayer.

oh god. and "not myself" is on it. life is good again.

loosing...motor...function...

last night's dream...

ended up at a dmb arena show. pretty much all of the freaks were there. my seats were kind of far back.

anyway. the show starts, kind of low key, no one in the audience is really getting into it. seek up starts, and over on the side to the left of the stage there's some kind of commotion. i have no clue what it was, but dave starts motioning over there, and talking into the microphone(though i can't remember what he said.) people start leaving. filing out of their rows and heading for the exits. by the time dave is supposed to start singing, the crowd is virtually non-existant.

my mom and i(no clue when she came into the dream) walk down towards the stage, where about 50 people are standing around stunned. dave is standing on stage - yeah, also looking pretty stunned. the rest of the band is no where to be found.

it is at this point that there's this realization that dave is going to keep playing - for the 50 or so of us who stayed. it wasn't a good thing, though. he was visibly upset. starts playing "captain."

i decide after this that i need to go look for some of the freaks, find out what they're thinking, if they know what's going on...

end up back at someone's house, where they have all congregated - everyone's pissed about the quality of the show, yadda yadda. i end up going back to the arena alone, only to catch the last song(gah! can't remember what it was!) and find out he had played a whole shit load of rarities. but was crying through most of it.

dude.
this dream was so damned depressing i can't even tell you.
one of those dreams where you're relieved when you wake up and realize it hasn't happened.

heh.
i need to de-stress. and soon. my dreams are getting pathetic, and i don't even want to think about the symbolism!

looks like i have 10 minutes before the maintenance notice goes into effect...

it's 11:21. and i cannot fucking study. i know what you're thinking - just get off your ass and DO it, amanda. well, i finally did. and after a little while, i had a split fucking knock me on my ass headache. looked at the clock and it had only been half an hour.

and really, the thought of going to that final tomorrow completely unprepared is probably at least a third of the reason why my shoulders and neck are fucking KNOTTED right now(as well as part of the reason why this post is sure to be over it's "fuck" limit), but...gah!

maybe i'll go to bed soon and then get up tomorrow and study?

oh, just think. in 2 days, all of my failing will be done, and i won't have to blog complainy blogs anymore.


and maybe next semester i'll get my shit back together again.

heh. one week til phoenix.
which means less than a week til albuquerque.
which really means only a little over a week til san fran.
which means there's less than three weeks til vegas!!

blogger! are you working?

god help me.

i was just watching "ZOOM" on PBS. it's a kids show. they were doing a challenge to see who could stack more pennies on their finger in 45 seconds.

do you see what happens when i need to study?

i was in this totally serious mindset driving home tonight...
just completely overwhelmed. not necessarily in a bad way, just thinking about how much is going on right now. and how...well...overwhelming it is. (fuck you.) ;)

and i got home, and i was going to write something possibly a little more profound than what you see above in my journal. yes, i keep an actual worthwhile journal offline, thank you.

oh god...tangent...

the point WAS i got home and realized hey! i finally have a couch! hehe. this is such great news. i can go sit ON MY COUCH and watch tv. even if i only have 6 channels. i can go sit ON MY COUCH and read, listen to music, talk on the phone - instead of having to be on my bed. teehee. one should not be allowed to fall victim to this amount of excitement.

so rather than write profound thoughts in my journal, i'm gonna go fucking sit on my couch.

thank you.

ugh.

i just blogged. and it was lost. so i'll recreate.

too bad my brother was arrested last night. illegal lane change, paraphanelia, pot, aggravated assault of an officer. too bad the cops were supposed to pick him up TWO weeks ago because he hasn't been compliant with his treatment. too bad when he was taken to the hospital last night for minor injuries, they completely missed the fact that he's supposed to be a patient there. it's really also too bad that a severely mentally ill person is in isolation at the county jail right now without his medication. oh yeah, and it's also too bad that arizona is rated 50th in mental health care.

oh, hm. yeah. one more. too bad it's really fucking getting to me this time. this explains why i was so off yesterday.

ugh.

ugh.

i just blogged. and it was lost. so i'll recreate.

too bad my brother was arrested last night. illegal lane change, paraphanelia, pot, aggravated assault of an officer. too bad the cops were supposed to pick him up TWO weeks ago because he hasn't been compliant with his treatment. too bad when he was taken to the hospital last night for minor injuries, they completely missed the fact that he's supposed to be a patient there. it's really also too bad that a severely mentally ill person is in isolation at the county jail right now without his medication. oh yeah, and it's also too bad that arizona is rated 50th in mental health care.

oh, hm. yeah. one more. too bad it's really fucking getting to me this time. this explains why i was so off yesterday.

ugh.

huston, we have a problem.
i am rediscovering ani's "out of range"
good LAWD.
this means i'll be forced to put the full lyrics to at least 3 songs here. sorry. but damn, these songs are good.

ok. i just typed out the lyrics to "you had time." but then i erased them. because i can do stuff like that. i'd rather display this one...

i search your profile
for a translation
i study the conversation like a map
cuz i know that there is strength in the differences between us
and i know there is comfort
where we overlap

come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so i can see your silouette
i hope
that you have got all night
cuz i'm not done looking
no i'm not done looking
yet

each one of us wants a piece of the action
you can hear it in what we say
you can see it in what we do
we negotiate with chaos
for some sense of satisfaction
if you won't give it to me at least give me a better view

come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so i can see your silouette
i hope
that you have got all night
cuz i'm not done looking
no i'm not done looking
yet

i build each one of my songs out of glass
so you can see me inside them
i suppose
or you could just leave the image of me in the back room, i guess
and watch your own reflection superimpose

and i build each one of my days out of hope
and i give that hope your name
and i don't know you that well
but it don't take much to tell
either you don't have the balls
or you don't feel the same

yeeeeeeah. wow. so strange to break my constant dmb/john mayer flow of music. and this music brings back such memories...not really of specific events but of timeframes and mindsets...

i was going to include "falling is like this" in here, but...eh, i'd rather go read. =)

ACK! AAAAAAAAAH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

*THROWING THINGS*TEMPER TANTRUM*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH!!

I'm so fucking annoyed with myself right now.

Love it when I think I have a final Monday and it's not til Wednesday.

That's what I get for not going to class more often.

i'm just stuck inside the gloom...

ah, jeeze. i've got more issues right now than i can even stand to admit.

another tequilla night, great times with great friends and kareoke and my PURE 80's cd...but my heart was still not with it. luckily, there's the phone. and 1000 free and clear, all long-distance-included minutes.

might be a quarter life crisis
or just the stirring in my soul...

have you ever noticed how you can think and think and think about something, but it never becomes real until you say it out loud? one of those truths about life...like when i was in highschool, and i'd get a crush on a guy. and eventually, i'd be in free period, bored off my ass, and so i'd start talking about it. fixating on the details of the guy, with little giggles surrounding stories like "he brushed by my arm!" or "i drank out of his coke!" really lame stuff like that. and the crush would grow and grow just because i was gushing so much.

heh.
ok. i'm babbling.
it is bed time.

the POINT, however, before i hit the sack, is that my next string of shows starts in a week and a day. which really means that vegas is less than 3 weeks away. which makes me happy as all hell.

no more drunkeness. after this post. must study to further my education.

HA!

tequila really makes me loud. that's one of the main things i remember from last night. i had a damn good time.

wake 'n' bakes make me really happy. and lazy. i love saturdays like this...

hm.
15 year anniversary today of my dad's death. now i'm not gonna get all weepy on you - 15 years is a LONG ASS time. but, hey, i figure it deserves some mention. it is a rather life altering event, you know...

a little survey sent to the freak list...

HAH! little my ass.

On you...
Full Name:... Amanda Allison Moreno
Height:..5'9 and some
Birthday:..2/8/80
Hair color:..don't really remember - reddish right now, though
Eye Color:..i'm a brown-eyed girl(sha la la la la la la la la la
la ti da)
Siblings?...daniel - 19, 2 half sisters: angela-33, ami-29orso
Do they look like you? ami does, the other two don't really
Righty or lefty? righty
Hobbies: DMB...damn, i'm otherwise lacking in that department at
this point in my life
How do others describe you? insane comes up quite frequently

On Friends...
Friend(s) that act like you? don't think so. probably the two
boys i lived with for a year more than anyone else.
Friend(s) you go to for advice? at this point? no one :) i have
trust issues.
Friends(s) who you give advice to? most of them

On Guys...(for girls to fill out)
Boxers or briefs? boxers or boxer briefs
Long or short hair? short
Dark or blonde? dark
Tall or short? T.A.L.L.
6 pack or muscular arms? arms all the way, baby
Mr. Sensitive or Mr. Funny? funny
Good guy or bad guy? riiiiight
Dark or light eyes? it don't matta none
Hat or no hat? i love backwards hats...
Ears pierced or no? if he can pull it off, sure
Tan or fair? i could care less
Freckles or none? good god! who cares?!
Stubble or neatly shaved? he can switch off. sure. whatever.
Rugged outdoorsy type or sportsy type? how about just *my* type
Accent or American? accents are hot. period. not a requirement,
tho

On preferences...
Chocolate milk or hot chocolate? hot chocolate. unless i feel
like chocolate milk.
Coke or Pepsi? used to be pepsi. then they got the dole/spears
endorsement going.
Rather marry the perfect lover or perfect friend? the perfect
friend IS the perfect lover. aaaaaaaaw. ;)
Sweet or sour? sour
Root Beer or Dr. Pepper? neither
Tea or coffee? tea
Sappy/action/comedy/horror/romantic? i'm terrible at watching
movies. don't have the attention span for most of them.
Ocean or pool? ocean. with surfers. lots of them.
Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese? RANCH!
With or without ice? lots and lots of ice
Milk chocalate/white? milk chocolate
Rain or shine? i love the rain - the smell, the color of the sky,
the sound...
Top or Bottom? switching off - gotta keep it interesting
Winter/Summer/Fall/Spring? spring. the colors are amazing.
Vanilla or Chocolate? vanilla ice cream, chocolate milkshake
Biking or blading? i'll walk, thank you
Cake or cookies? neither
Cereal or toast? usually don't eat breakfast, but i'm on a toast
kick right now
Rock/ska/punk/rap/pop/alt/techno/country/swing? i. love. ska &
swing. but really, i love everything so it's all good.
Gloves or mittens? i live in the desert, yo
Eyes open or closed? depends on the moment
Fly or breathe under water? fly
Chewing gum or hard candy? Gum. Icebreakers. Yum.
Motor boat or sailboat? either
Lights on or off? off. i like darkness. candle light is good,
though

What's your favorite....
Color? black, blue, green, deep red or purple...
Number? 17
Drink? margaritas
Animal? doggies
Holiday? new years eve
Sound, Rain Thunder or Wind? thunder
Band/singer? toss up between christina aguilahahahaha and nsync
Movie? almost famous, dazed and confused, english patient,
grease, terms of endearment...
TV show? friends
Radio station? don't listen to the radio. dmb and john mayer
only, please
Place Been To? turns out not where but who you're with that
really matters
Flower? orchids
Food? lasagna. i guess.
Shape? broad shoulders

In the future
Where u you gonna live?nowhere for more than a few years
How many kids? NONE
Names? since i'm not having kids, i'm going to pick a name for a
dog. karma. i like that name. :)
College? can't discuss this right now. grrrrrrr.
What are u gonna do? LIVE!!!
What does your ideal girlfriend/boyfriend look like? I'll let you
know when I find him.
What is your dream date? anywhere with my soulmate
Do you like to call or be called? i like to be called, but if i
have to do the dirty work, so be it. i love talking to people.
Make plans or go along w/ them? i like to know what's going on,
but it is fun to just go along.
Make the moves or wait for them to come out? i always wait. not
necessarily because i prefer it, just because that's the way i am.
Ever been in love? nope
Move anywhere, where would it be? somewhere closer to the freaks
where i could hit up more shows.
Buy any car, what would it be? an expensive one, then sell it to
have money for tour
Dye your hair one color, what would it be? puce. nah. i just
wanted to use that word.
Have a tattoo, where/what would it be? probably a japanese
symbol on my lower back. but i hate needles, so it's really a non
issue
Live w/ one person for the rest of your life, who would it be?
now *that* is a question. and i'm not gonna answer it. :)

Murder someone or steal a gumball? steal a gumball?

Name one thing...
One person you love: colin(best friend)
One thing you wish you had done that you didn't: can't think of
anything
One thing that you wish you hadn't done that you did: don't
believe in regrets
One thing you REALLY wanna do: sex would be nice in the near
future
One thing you did yesterday: ditched my last class of the
semester
One thing that annoys you: when people don't take their shoes off
before lying on my bed

What's the first thing you do when you...
Get up? turn the comp on
Get in the shower? wash my hair
Get to school? pick up a paper
Get home from school? check email
Do you bite your fingernails? i'm in a non biting phase right
now, but i usually do
Pick your nose? you gotta do what you gotta do
Cheat on tests/homework? see above answer>
How often do you...
Shower? once a day. unless i don't shower once a day in which
case i shower twice a day.
Make your bed? throw the covers up daily. actually MAKE it 3
times or so a week
Clean your room? about once a week
Take a bath? never
Talk/walk in your sleep? nope. my secrets are pretty damend hard
to pry out of me
Tell people you love them? definitely not enough AT ALL.
Play w/ your animals? sure. whenever i see her.
Brush your teeth? at least twice a day. can't stand having a bad
taste in my mouth.

Who are you
In love with? hmmmmmmmmm...
Mad or frustrated with? no one

What is...
Under your bed? a few boxes
On your nails? clear schtuff
On your feet? flip flops
On your walls? lots of monet and escher stuff(from a calendar),
lots of dmb stuff, some van goh, a massive poster of the nyc skyline
(killer poster)
On your mouse pad? a widdle boy and girl laughing with roses
On your bed? a kick ass tapestry, pillows
On your ceiling? nufin

there is a gnat flying around.

it is annoying.

i just killed it.

now i'm going to feel guilty.

hehe.

i just totally found a partner in crime that lives in ARIZONA. this is an accomplishment, folks. be happy for me!

that said, i've just been convinced(though she really did not have to twist my arm at all) to go to boulder. and god knows where else.

i love dmb freaks. they're swell. :)

right.

so i post about how ridiculously bored i am. and how i do have things to do, but i'm not because i'd rather complain about being bored.

and blogger fucks up.

because my blog loves me, you see. it knows that by having to post twice, i'll be able to waste more time.

oo! oo! paul has scanned my cville pics and is about to send them. :)