i had some revelations about dmb fans this weekend. i choose not to dwell on the one that dubs a large proportion of them "tools," as it clearly is not true for all of us, though still very true(tools tools tools! dmb fans are tools! do you hear me? i admit and accept it!). instead, i would like to say that the music and the scene is definitely not for those who don't like to be uncomfortable. the music can make you uncomfortable...either because you can't see a jam through because you get bored or because you don't understand what they're doing or because you're "too good for this shit..." or because dave fucks something up, or because the horns are wailing at ear-piercing decibles, or maybe just because everyone around you is lost in movement and you don't quite like the way your body feels(or maybe the way your brain is telling you you'll look like a dork if you do that too, and what could be worse than looking like a dork?)... these shows and this community are a haven for the awkward...for those who have found acceptance and community in the music...and that can make outsiders uncomfortable. for the seattle scene, it could be highly uncomfortable to be partaking in ANYTHING dave matthews related, for he is in fact the ultimate faux paus. faux pas? faux peep? fuck if i know. in any case - he's the guy who wrote those 3 horrible songs they play on the radio all the time and he has absolutely no musical integrity whatsoever and is totally worth shunning because he is just LAME. (yes, i've yet to figure out why seattle actually hates the man so much - for the love of god, he was raised quaker, his wife is a naturopath, and they live in WALLINGFORD, for god sakes, despite the fact that he makes 55 trillion dollars a year. he's humble and he's a DAMN fine guitar player - he's advanced so much in the 15 years of his career. yeah. there's a lot to hate there. stupid fucking seattle and your scenester snobbery. get over yourself. er...i mean...i love you :) ).

i'd be uncomfortable too if any of those things got to me.

luckily...very very luckily, i see it my way instead. i see a community of uncomfortable people made comfortable by something so open and intricate and complex. i love moving my body non-stop through the entire 3 hours of a show and i love the absolute incapacitation and exhaustion that follows and my need to just be lead around as i break into random episodes of laughter. i adore looking around and seeing people who just cannot dance not caring about it and letting loose anyway. i dig jams. i like it when they get lost...when they get intense and when they explode right back on the track they started from. i love the energy exchange between audience and band. i love cringing when boyd goes out of tune or when roi's chosen note is about to break my ear drum.

i like being uncomfortable. because resolution is inevitable, and just improves my "style." and i'm just so fucking lucky that i do see it this way and that i am part of this, because it has opened my mind to all other kinds of music and life and expression...

yeah.