i need to write about this weekend. but...i don't feel like it right now.

what i do feel like saying is...i kinda wish i knew about this seattle job thing. one way or the other. and honestly, i haven't said this to anyone, but as much as i wanted it, i'm praying i don't get it. because i'm already coming up with lies in my head about why i can't take it. the reality of the situation is that while i could probably make it work, i need to spend the summer not paying rent and working 40 hours a week. not at a job where i'm not necessarily guaranteed any hours at all. and i hate saying that, because right now i am working 40 hours a week, and i can't stand it.

well, as much as i "can't stand" anything. i mean, you know me - i'll pretty much go with it, and it's not wrecking my life or anything. but i've read 3 books in the past week because i don't do *anything* at that job. the people are nice. there's some interesting customers. but for the most part i just sit there, and it's already gotten really old. thankfully, it's just temporary, til they fill the position. but it's making me want to do something meaningful or fun even more. and the seattle thing would be both. but again...i really need to save massive amounts of money, especially since i'll be taking 18 credits next semester. and searching through the ads for sublets and places to live, there just isn't anything affordable available right now. so...

yeah.

i'm kinda over wanting to go to seattle. maybe i'm just fooling myself. but it'd really probably be the least wise decision i could make right now, even though i'm usually all for the "go for the experience over everything else" mindset.

word.