i had to be a bitch last weekend.

it wasn't that cool.

it was shellie's 20th birthday, so we decided to throw a little shindig. our shindigs are always quite fun. "our" being me, shellie, kristy and jane(an incredibly dynamic, beautiful group of girls if you ask me. maybe i'm biased though. but that's another revalation for another time). so we made some hop skip and go naked, i brought a bottle of tequila. it was good times guaranteed.

but there was about an hour in there that was miserable. all these annoying people started showing up. acting like 2 year olds. and then...the air conditioner decided it wanted to catch on fire and start smoking. so kristy was flipping out. add to that the fact that tucson's cops have decided it is their number one priority to go around, break up parties, red tag houses and arrest minors, and we decided it wasn't that good that a bunch of girls were standing out in the street causing a ruckus.

so i decided i'd go tell them they couldn't be there. just asked them, quite nicely mind you, if they could go inside or go out to the back yard. some blonde bimbo sorostitute decides she doesn't like that idea and gets up in my face. so i tell her she needs to fucking chill and that if she thinks i'm a bitch, she should wait until she gets inside. she mumbles a bunch of bullshit and does her little head shake in my face some more. they say they'll go inside.

so i come back 5 minutes later. oh, yeah. still there. i tell them to go inside. attitude girl says "and what if we don't?" i said, listen sweetheart, ya either need to leave or you need to get your ass inside. more of her comments. a guy they were with comes and starts herding them in. she makes some comment and i tell her she needs to lose the attitude before she goes in, or she'll get eaten alive.


sooo...i go inside and it appears even more annoying people have shown up. they're yelling and screaming and pouring beer on eachother(beer they've taken out of our fridge, mind you). greg and kristy are annoyed. so i decide to just go smoke and let them handle it.

two girls are outside running around like 2 year olds pouring beer on eachother. they then start yelling at eachother, each on one side of me. i stop and ask if they're really fighting. they say no. i tell them that if they are, i'll pay attention, but otherwise, they need to go away so i can finish talking to brian. they then end up in beer spilling fight behind me, and it gets all over my back.

i then went inside and informed my compadres(laughingly of course) that everyone needs to leave. we then start a massive "kicking everyone out" campaign.

annoying girls from earlier won't leave because we're "kicking out all the hot girls." beer pouring girls won't leave because they don't have a ride(how the fuck they got ther eis beyond me). ring leader boy is too drunk to do anything but scream and yell. we go into the living room and turn down the music to tell everyone to leave, and someone turns it back up and tells us to shut the fuck up.

it was great fun.

so then we got the boys to literally pull people out of the house, including attitude girl who just kept saying "it's just because i'm pretty" which was quite entertaining to all of us.

so.
eventually.
they all left.

and we decided we're over having parties. :)