depression is dumb. i'm over it. it can leave me now. i've had about enough. mood swings are lame. headaches can bite my ass. living with my mom, who keeps asking if i'm ok doesn't help. i'm over the heat. i wish it would rain. i wish i had some new dmb shows. i wish i was going to another dmb show. i love my girls, but i wish i was happier these days. i'm over shitty weed. i'm over the need to self medicate(maybe just because i haven't been giving in to it...that much). i need lots of attention and affection. i'm over lies and manipulation. i wish i hadn't completely lost any small sense of myself last night, even though it passed. i've never experienced that before. i'm searching for truth. it's no where to be found. i'm searching for a job. it's no where to be found. i'm so glad jack is coming this weekend. he'll give me attention and affection. i haven't seen him in almost a year. i'm over living in a house that's for sale. it's lame. i can't believe gorge was not even a month ago. i like chipotle, but i wish there wasn't a ribbon of white rice. mix it up, baby. i love seeing my boys grow up. i miss mel and lisa. i miss my turquoise ring. i love arizona sunsets. i think i'm learning to like phoenix. i saw the coolest rainbow when i was driving back from seattle. just north of sacramento. it was vibrant and huge and complete. i loved the thunderstorm that followed. i would like a full body massage. i'm jaded. i want to watch the two towers. i want to shoot myself in the foot for a lot of things right now. that'll pass. i just wish it would sooner. i want sex. lots of it. with no interuptions. i like rachael. she's a fucking great friend. i can't wait for wedding month. i can't wait til it cools off. i can't wait til i feel better.