i'm listening to the lillywhites. splendid.

man, i went through such a phase with "fantastic." and i still say it a lot. but i'm thinking "splendid" is just as much fun to say. i love colorful words. and i ain't talkin' in the obscene sense.

though i like those too.

a lot's happened in the past few weeks. i know i wrote once about the trip to illinois. it was one of those trips i've just had to keep with me. i can't really write about it, though don't ask me why. it was just really powerful in all the right, subtle ways. it was really different from most other dmb weekends i've participated in. i spent it mainly with scotty, megs, ice and rach and that was exactly what i needed. there was no heavy partying, very little drinking, and a decent amount of smoking. it was so nice to just be in close proximity with people who i love so much and who feel the same way in return. it was wonderful at the gatherings we did attend to just sit next to these people i love so much and observe the goings on of other people. i love watching dmb people mesh - the love is so apparent and everyone just converses so well, but there's moments when everyone in the room get caught up in the music, which really makes me giggle. it was fantastic to see people i haven't had the opportunity to be around that much, and to have them welcome me with open arms in the true spirit of the community.

i loved going to the venue, and just standing there talking with rach(we had to have alone time rather than watch jason mraz...a very fair trade if you ask me), and having people come up who i haven't seen in forever. it was fantastic to see suzanne and norah. and to be walking around and hear people calling one of our names. then at the champaign show, just the hour i spent with the huff bros was so giggle worthy. even just the ten minute ride in rob's car to the venue...me and megs and brian in the backseat, just shooting the shit and cracking eachother up. definitely a highlight. it was really dissapointing that they had to leave - i won't deny that. almost cry worthy, actually. but what can ya do? i've seen bill a lot in the past few months, but just not enough time was spent with brian.

the crowd at champaign was world class. maybe it was just where i was sitting, but the vibe was unreal. i remember most specifically grey street and what would you say, when we were just jamming our asses off, and i kept looking at the people around me, and we'd get these huge grins on our faces. matthew came to stand with me during a song, which meant the world. it was just a really good night.

it was so fucking good to be back. i couldn't stop giggling on the way to the airport. and it firmly set in place the importance of spending actual physical time with the people i love. nothing else matters. fuck geographical boundaries, i will always treasure my time with these people, no matter what. they bring out all the best attributes of my personality. and somehow in the 2 years i've known them, they have gotten me to shed all of my inhibitions, have drawn my trust out of me and have allowed me to let them in on who i really am. they're the reaasons i dance with abandon, they're the reasons i have a bounce in my [gimp] step and the reasons i can't help but sing. i can only hope i inspire the same in them!

whoa.

so then, there's this past weekend.

the boys' christmas party was an absolute blast. it was such a wonderful gathering. and there were quite a few people there i havne't seen in a long time. meghan, my old best friend who i haven't seen in well over a year, was there with her new husband. colin's sister was there, back from her second year at college...i went to this girl's 12th birthday party. and now we just click like i do with very few girls. she's a blast. i burned cdc's for *everyone*. it was so good to hand them out. for example, aden got a led zeppelin show, jack johnson's demo cd and gorge night 2. they were all different cd's, and i loved seeing people's faces. i gave mikey the 2.23.97 dave and tim show WITH the soundcheck, ,because he was there, and he was totally stoked. drank way too much wine, started a little dance party during "bubbly toes" and made it continue through the rest of the show we were listening to. i think i took 3 rolls of film on jeremy's camera. jeremy and matt ran around with thongs on their heads. it was just...a really good time. ended with me, colin, his sister, ,aden and jeremy going to denny's at like 3 in the morning.

the next night was jeremy's graduation party. *that* was fantastic because all of our parents went. none of our parents had really met eachother, which is really strange. i mean colin and i have been best friends for 8 years and our parents have met maybe once. the thing is - each of our parents has watched us all grow up, so they've all got funny stories, but to have them all together was classic. it was really quite heart warming. and to have everyone together to celebrate jeremy's graduation was something i know was really important to him. even though he wasn't sure he actually graduated, as he didn't do too well on a final. but then at 2 that morning, he called me to tell me he'd just checked his grades, and he passed everything. i could hear this excitement resonating in his voice, and i couldn't have been more proud.

since then...christmas was great. my aunt and uncle and three little cousins came, which completely made the holiday. i haven' tspent any time with these cousins, and i haven't spent any time with my aunt and uncle since i've "grown up" and it was cause for a lot of smiles. colin, jeremy and aden came over christmas night, and we ended up back at aden's stoned and watching "thumbwars" and then " the thumbfather." jeremy and i talked like we haven't in a long time, and once again it hit me just how much i love life. last night was the same kind of thing...just sitting around with a small group of friends, playing a board game, laughing our asses off.

i guess that brings you up to speed.

yup.

:)