i'm a mess. such a mess. fuck this aura of strength that i'm so well known for. it's not holding up right now. this is all just so overwhelming and frusterating at some times.

and i sure as hell ain't calling gorge goers cuz i'm not gonna be the cause of ruining that vibe.
and i sure as hell ain't calling anyone here because...


because i don't fucking know.

ugh.

jusst...having a really hard time at the moment.

forget one day at a time. i've got to take it one hour at a time. and that makes the tedium of 3 monthsthat much more pronounced.