i had such a damend good night last night.

jeremy called me pretty late to tell me to go to aden's dad's house. we sat on aden's deck, which overlooks the entire city, just talking and reminiscing and telling stories. there was this perfect breeze, and i saw 2 shooting stars, and it was just lovely.

we started off(after aden went to bed) talking about our first phish concert. and i remembered so many things that i had forgotten about. neither of us rememberd that the two of us and one other friend were the only ones shrooming. and by the second set, we had made our way almost to the front of the stage. and during the encore break, we were just yelling out asses off because if we didn't keep our energy up we would fall to the ground. the people to the side of me were asking "what are you guys ON? can we have some?" and the people in front of jeremy just kept turning around and laughing and saying "having a good time back there?"

and we talked about the first time a bunch of us ever did acid. it was cool because we have different stories from the night, so we could share those different things, but our memories entertwine so much. there's one specific point that night that i do remember, but i couldn't have told you it was he who was the other person in the room. i was looking at an art book in johnny's guest room. ok, i was looking at one picture that was just blowing my mind. and jeremy came in and started doing SOMETHING, but all i could do was look at this book. so finally i looked up and just stared at this guy who was tripping balls, just fidgeting around with god knows what, and was like "what the FUCK are you doing? come look at this picture!"

after that i layed down on the tile and watched zoo animals herding across the floor.

and we both remember all...7 of us or whatever sitting out by the pool just watching the pool, listening to phish's "junta."

just...good times. goooood times.


it was just really refreshing to 1.) talk about these memories and 2.) have someone who remembers the same things that i do.

we talked about a shitload of other things. it was just really relaxing.

and i realized one of the difficulties i'm having with my life here is that i'm so used to much more intimate settings. i used intimate for lack of a better word. i'm used to small groups, or one on one situations where you really get to talk to the other people. you get to know them. even if you're not having deep conversation, you get to know people's little quirks and idiosyncracies so much better in small group settings.

and here it's usually a large group. which is fine for the boys because they all know eachother so well that their personalities do come through in that setting. and while several of them did know me well, they don't know who i've become. and i'm so anxious to share that with people because - i'll admit it - i like myself. i've got a ton to say and tons of stories to tell, and that all just come out better in small group settings.

yeah.

the point? i dreamed like you wouldn't believe last night. for like 10 hours. and i woke up in the best mood. and i really need that right now, no matter how short lived it might be.