it always amazes me how you never really realize how much you've changed until you're around the people who have known you the longest. or someone you haven't been in touch with in a long time.

i just got such a sense of that when i was emailing my friend aidan in england. granted, it's only been like 3 weeks since we last emailed, but i could still feel it.

and it's so weird because there's certain people from home who i really want to talk to. but there's others that i just keep putting off phonecalls to. and it's not so much a conscious effort, but it's definitely evident. i love talking to jack. or bob or jeremy. or even kim on occasion. but jane and matt and brian and even maggie to some extent...i just know that when i call them, they're going to focus on all the drama in their lives, and, as selfish as it sounds, i don't want to listen to it knowing that at no point will i be asked how things are in my life...not so much because they're unwilling, but because...well, they really don't even think about it.

i'm babbling.