i'm lonely. very very lonely. and it's not something that will be solved by hanging out with lisa and becky watching prime time tv. it's not something that will be solved with long phone calls or IM conversations. it's not something i even really see being solved period. life just keeps getting better and better. my passion for everything i do becomes more and more intense every day.

there are so many unbelievable guys in my life right now. and they just keep entering...one after another. my bonds with so many of them are so deep. but it's like...somewhat frusterating because i don't really want to waste my breath telling any of them all these things i have going on inside my head. i could, but... it seems like a waste of energy. i don't want the wrong impression given. and i don't want the bonds to go that deep with any of these guys, for a multitude of reasons.

and of course the one guy that i know i could just really get into it all with is in a "don't return amanda's calls" phase.

not that i've tried more than twice to get ahold of him in the past 4 months.

but...whatever. i know that it would be the scariest to reconnect with him. but it's so fucking tempting.

lol.

i'm not even gonna keep going with this one.

all i want is one dmb/music loving, passionate, tall, intelligent boy! is that so difficult???!!!

HA!