i heard the sound of your bike
as your wheels hit the gravel
and then your engine in the driveway cutting off
and i pushed through the screen door
and i stood out on the porch
thinking FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT at all costs
but instead i let you in
just like i've always done
and i sat you down and offered you a beer
and across the kitchen table i fired several rounds
and you were still standing there when the smoke cleared

and you came crawling back to say
you wanna make good in the end
oh let me count the ways
that i abhore you
and you were never a good lay
and you were never a good friend
but oh, oh what can i say?
i adore you

all i need is my leather
two t-shirts and two socks
i'll keep my hands warm in your pockets
and you can use the engine block
and we'll ride out to california
with my arms around your chest
and i'll pretend that this is real
cuz this is what i like best
you've been juggling to women
like a stupid circus clown
telling us both we are the one
and maybe you can keep me
from ever being happy
but you're not gonna stop me from
having FUN

so let's go before i change my mind
and leave the luggage of all your lies behind
cuz i am bigger than everything that came before
and you were never very kind
and you let me way down every time
but oh, oh what can i say?
i adore you