god. i swear that oakland review is coming...sometime. i have listened to the show quite a bit and it certainly makes me quite happy.

last week was very strange. floating on the high from the show, starting my "new job," not getting along with my mom at all... falling back into old habbits...

friday night was quite fun. jeremy is squatting at nik and miranda's old apartment so we went over there to play some beer pong. i can honestly say i've nver played so bad in my life. had some good talks with random people and it was capped with a visit to IHOP where my face was molested and shellie threw jeremy down on the floor in the middle of the restaurant. yesterday had lots of sleeping and smoking and reading books such as "waking dreams" and "the prophecies of nostradamous" and then a season 5 sex and the city marathon. it's good to have my weekends back.

hmm.

you know...i've noticed that as the cycles in my life progress, i oftentimes have the same revelation again and again, but it always feels different because i've arrived at it through a different path. even if it's a revelation about a person, i come to a new understanding of the same thing. i noticed the same thing in someone else this past week, and for some reason it was very strange.

i've long had these notions of compatibility and love and what it should be and what it isn't. they're not strong black and white convictions, just a kind of idea of how everything falls together, even though i've acknowledged that nothing ever works out the way you think it will. what i never understood is how much you can understand and know just how much you should not be with someone, yet be unable to stifle those damned feelings. it's a doosie. and it really intrigues the hell out of me.

my dreams have been exceptionally strange as of late. filled with all kind of symbolism and realism and idealism. but i'm having a hard time remembering them, especially the ones that come as i'm dozing during my afternoon nap or when i was just laying in bed yesterday. i wish i could get a better grasp on them.

diet's still going. weather is still rainy. still trying to get moved out of this house.

everyday things change...basically they stay the same...