so yeah. two really good christmas parties this week. the first was totally inconsequential in that it was just good fun partying. last night's was my highschool boys' annual christmas party, and of course it was fantastic. this year brought a lot of talking about the past with people who were once really important and hashing things out and trying to figure out a way to pick up where we left off. two people kind of made new enterances into my life last night. and i don't know if it'll actually go anywhere. but i'm happy about reconnecting with them for one night. while i've had years to get over missing johnny, i saw last night just why it was we were so incredibly close for so long. and i realized last night that i do miss jeremy. we were a good fit and he provided something for me that i can't get from anyone else in tucson. (and i ain't talkin' about ass) it's good to talk once you've got distance. though i realized while lying in bed thinking about it this morning that i did a lot of the talking. but oh well. i love talking to someone you have such a strong connection with after a long period of time. because some things never change and some people have a way of capturing a piece of my heart permanently. reuniting with that is a euphoric feeling.


it's amazing how distance brings such honesty and such perspective. maybe not in that order.

can i also just say that those same two people also talked to eachother about everything that happened to end their friendship? i had the biggest smile on my face standing outside watching them through the window. two people that i loved so much at such different points in my life burying the hatchet. of course my drunk ass had to go tell them how much i loved it.

and can i just comment on how hot my male friends are? seriously. they are just the cutest group of boys imaginable.

saw my old best friend meghan. interesting. she's all school teachered out and grown up and married.

saw this one guy who we went to school with who i used to drool over. he was in a band with this guy who officially made us give birth to the term "creamy." not quite as drool worthy anymore, but he made me listen to his cd, and i must say it was quite good. and i've never seen someone so genuinely touched that i was paying attention and that i liked it. especially coming from this guy who is such a typical tough ass. very sweet.

paul's back. and i love that. we didn't really get a chance to talk, but it was good to have him around.

nik and miranda are moving to the d.c. area january 11th. that's exciting. everyone's going off in their own directions. i love it.

dave and i...i think have reached some kind of mutual respect. it's taken us 9 years, but i honestly feel like it's there now. i was talking to him last night about how excited i am that i really truly know what i want to do with my life and he looked me in the eye and told me that i am absolutely on the right path and that he knows i'll be fantastic at it.

of course aden and i had to have several love fests. somehow, he has truly emerged as one of my dearest friends. don't know that i ever would've guessed that, but it's one of those great platonic loves that brings life such light.

there's a lot of bad going on where colin is concerned. i don't really like it. but the kid's gonna have to either face a lot of shit, or completely run away and resign himself to this life that his psycho girlfriend has chosen for him. he's coming into town for 4 days next week. we'll see what happens.

jane, shellie and kristy came with me. i love it when my worlds converge. i have so many different groups of friends that i love so much, and sometimes it's really difficult having to go different places to spend time with any given one. it's also rather difficult that a vast majority of them could give a flying fuck about the others(not that i'd ever fault any of them for that). but, i mean good lord...there's my girls. there's my highschool boys. there's my dmb loves. and there's this group of incredibly dynamic people back in seattle who i rarely talk about but keep in touch with. i love seeing people i love interacting.

i love a lot of things apparently.

but anyway. kristy didn't stay long. had to go do her man. she'd kill me if she ever read that. but we won't get into kristy's issues today. just because she did something kick ass with my hair last night, though. seriously. it looked fucking great. she's hired.

but i digress.

shit. waste is really distracting me right now.

anyway.

um.

yes. good times, good times. i wish i could spend more time with everyone.

oh, talked to bob on the phone. he's loving colorado springs. i am so happy for him and so excited for him. my oldest non-colin friend...he's super.

friendships and longevity. i think it's difficult for some people to fully grasp just what time does to relationships. how much they change and grow and sometimes fall apart and bounce back or just disintegrate. but having history with people is so incredible and so important and i am so damn lucky to have so many people with whom i have incredibly rich histories.

(amazing what a minute can do)