well, the soulmate is in the process of moving out of the forefront of my mind. i can tell by my dreams. it's very strange, because i've never had "fantasy" dreams of him before. that's in 8 years of dreaming about him. and i don't mean that in a sexual way. i just mean that he's never acted the way i dreamed(no pun intended) he would before. but these...while they're definitely realistic situations, he is acting in ways that would make my heart melt.

i guess if you can't have it in real life, you gotta have it somehow.

i wonder if the mystery between him and i will ever be explained. i honestly don't know that it will. i know he's always going to be weaving in and out of my life, but i really don't know if we'll ever have any kind of tangible relationship again.

god. it's been 2 years since we've really interacted with any kind of regularity. so weird.