well. i've been doing really well at not thinking about my upcoming trip. the whole scenario reminds me of cville actually...
i remember arriving at dulles, and matias picking me up, and i was just out of control excited. and he said something to the effect of "i guess i just can't think about it because once i do, it'll be out of control..."

and i completely understand that now. i haven't been thinking about seeing dave and tim and seeing all of my loves because i knew i'd go insane just waiting. and now, even though i'm less than 48 hours from arriving in hartford, it's still too much for me to think about.

but i've had a lot of red wine, and i keep getting glimpses of it.

there's seeing joyce, who i haven't seen since last april. i wonder what her haircut looks like. and then there's scotty, who i've grown incredibly close to - i swear to god we talk on the phone at least once a day, if not more. then huffy's arriving...and i don't think words can even express my love for that guy. i've seen him a lot in the past few months, more than anyone else, but i just can't get enough. then jen and matias will arrive...god knows i'm gonna be anxious as hell waiting for them. matias, who makes me laugh more than just about anyone alive. and jen who is such a dear friend, who i only saw three times last year, and with whom i somehow have this incredible esp thing going on. i haven't seen them since august! and then there's mel...i can't even describe what that kid means to me. i think i'm focusing on a reunion with him the least, because it's going to be so good, and i'm afraid it's gonna make me rethink my decision to stay in tucson. and then there's lenelle, who i've spent so little time with, but who has been there through so much. i haven't seen her since nye 2001.

finally, there's a really good chance i'll be seeing nate. and that's something i can't think about at all. because who knows if it'll actually happen(fucking military). but come on now. if i used the term best friend for anyone other than colin, he'd probably get that title. and seeing him, after all that's happened since the last time i saw him in both of our lives, and after all that's going on in the world...would just be really fucking special.

(can you tell i adore my friends?)

then there's dave and tim. the only thing i can compare it to is seeing "pig" live. i really never thought it'd happen. and then it did. and still, the comparison doesn't even hold that well, because seeing dave and tim is what i considered to be such a huge pipe dream...and it's coming true! and there are so many little additions to that thought...what will they play? what stories will dave tell? what will the vibe be like in that venue when they come on stage for the first time in FOUR years? after no one thought it'd ever happen again? that, my friends, is insanity.

once again, i find myself reveling in the fact that i have got to be the luckiest girl alive.

here's to!