from the paper journal...


you know what i realized is one of the things that has made me so happy lately? all the reconnecting i've done in the past week or two. i guess it all started with mel and lisa. and then seeing even people like brian and erin, and tyler and his girlfriend. and then jay and kristy and lee. all these seattle people who i was never really close to but who i haven't seen in so long and who it was just so good to spend time with. and then it was bill. and seeing dave. and all the people associated with going to a dave show. then coming back here...i talked to rach quite a bit last week - i don't understand why we don't do that more often. and i talked to megs and scotty a lot. megan and i have been conneecting a lot. talked to jen yesterday, and bri's called...

and then i get an email from colin and so much has happened since last we talked, and i realized how excited i am to see him when he comes back from korea. and i had an IM waiting for me from fly boy mike with his new home number in NC and a little note.

what made me realize all this? i was driving home and i was slammed with this huge wave of excitement over getting to talk to nate again. i can't fucking wait to talk to that boy. it's beeen a month and a half, and i just feel like i've reached this point where talking to him about everything will tie it all together, because that's how it usually works. i love that.

you know what else makes me really happy? i was at aden's earlier tonight, me and him and jeremy were standing around smoking, and he brought up the christmas party. the boys always do a gift exchange/party thing. it's usually the highlight of the christmas season for all of us. and this year, he wants to go somewhere...like maybe get a cabin at mt. lemon or something. he mentioned a specific weekend and asked if that would work for me. just that tiny little thing made me so happy.



i guess ihaven't blogged about seattle. but i think it's obvious that it served it's purpose. i'm in such a better space now. things seem to be falling together again. i needed that time away so badly. i needed to see mel and lisa. tie up loose ends. just driving around there makes me so happy, be it sunny or rainy, because it's so damned beautiful. it's strange how just a location can make you feel like yourself. saw a few concerts, took it easy, sprained an ankle... it was all good. and i'm ok being back in tucson now. it's amazing how much better it is now that i have my STUFF with me. just havingmy posters up on the walls and my pictures around me and my music within arms reach has done wonders for me.

oh, and seeing o.a.r. and matt nathanson friday night. whoosh. that was absolutley incredible. tucson is one of the first places they toured outside of a few states back east. they actually played this restaurant/bar that i frequent. they played there when i lived in a dorm about 200 feet away. silly me for not knowing. but anyway, it was very much like a hometown crowd - minus the crowd surfing. i still have to say the portland and seattle crowds have been better, but these people friday night were SO into it you really couldn't blame them. that band absolutley blows my mind. they have the charisma and talent and just overall diversity that is going to make them blow up - though i guess they really already have. jeremy, paul and megan all went and i'm pretty sure they were blown away as well.

i dunno.
good things going on.
i'm gonna enjoy the hell out of it while it lasts.

more to come...