i was browsing through thedreamingtree.com, when i came across this article. it cracked me the hell up. possibly more than it should have, but whatever.

The Onion Headline: Study of DMBheads Reveals... written by Unknown

Scientists from around the world gathered today in Reykjavic Iceland at the conference for Brain Research And Studies (BRAS) to hear the results of a long-term experiment to determine if the brains of hardcore Dave Matthews Band fans are in fact different from those of other human beings.

Dr. IfIhadanitch Idscratchit (formerly of the Ukraine, now a citizen Charlottesville, VA USA) presented his paper to approximately 2000 neuroscientists and neurologists who collectively *gasped* in astonishment at the findings. Dr. Idscratchit followed 30 DMBheads from
the moment their obsessions began.

Certain criteria were used to establish that the participants were in fact "DMBheads" and not "CRASHheads"- the difference is not obvious to outsiders. CRASHheads were weeded out of the potential pool of applicants for study by a series of questions of which they had to answer all correctly to be determined a DMBhead. Some of the questions were..."Glen Ballard---Saviour or Satan?", "Boyd's
nipples in LS--Point Up or Down?", "Roi's animal equivalent---mole or badger?", "Stefan collects--iguanas or beanie babies?", "Do it
for--Fenton or Fonzerelli?", "Carter chews---Hubba Bubba or Skoal?" "The place most women would like to kiss Dave--his lips or the sweet spot on his neck just under his ear?"...(in this case either answer was determined to be correct being that it's a matter of personal preference).

After the questionaire portion of the exam, the applicants were tested according to the reaction time it took for the individual to name a song performed by the band. Amazingly, the DMBheads could correctly name all songs in approximately 1/2 to 2/3rds of a second
of hearing it, whereas Crashheads (no matter what song was played) said almost as instantaneously "CRASH...no!...CRUSH!...no!...CRASH... no!...CRUSH!...awh man, it was CRASH, wasn't it?!?"

The remaining subjects were then put thru rigorous physical exams which determined that they showed remarkable ability in sprinting thru gates with large blankets to get the best seats at a venue such as Jazzfest or on the lawn, considerable arm strength to fend off old and/or drunken peeps who pay off security and crash the pit, extraordinary swimming stamina and wading technique thru bogs and flooded streets after concerts (ex. 7.20.01).

And, in a written exam, it was discovered that DMBheads have developed their own language to communicate with each other regarding issues pertinent to DMB. They've invented words new to the english language such as WTF, IEM, IMHO, SHN, BOWA, WWYS, ISO, Newbie, TAO, DAO, BT, BTCS.

Finally MRIs and X-rays of the brains of DMBheads reveal that they have larger than average frontal lobes and increased neuronal activity in this area. This finding probably accounts for the power of .

In short, DMBheads are considered to be so much more highly evolved than your average human being that they constitute a new species. Efforts are now being made to get these subjects to commit to donate there bodies to science upon their death so that autopsies may be done to study them further. However, most of them have declined as of this time saying, "I won't do it unless/until I hear Dave play the PIG."