hello again.

just thinking on something that was said to me yesterday by a friend of mine. we were discussing...well...i was asking him if my feelings on a particular issue were clear. and he responded by saying something along the lines of "no, you'd actually have to show or share your feelings for that to happen." and then brought up something i had said to him about how tour was great because i got to know so much about everyone...but no one got to know about me.

now, when i said that i was only half serious. i've got one hell of a self-defense protective system, i'll admit that. but i can't hardly believe that the past 6 months went by without anyone really getting to know me.

or...god...at least i hope that's not the case.

never the less, i really took this conversation yesterday to heart. in a good way. unfortunately, it probably should have happened a few months ago when i could still change how i am...but better late than never, i guess.

i'm a big scardey cat. i gotta start letting people in.

bwahhahahahahahaha.

ya'll ready for that?

the space between our wicked lies
is where we hope to keep safe from pain

heh. that's the only song that's ever made me cry in concert. hartford night 1.

ok. time to start finding emails and copying them into my journal. i'm going to get all these thoughts out of my system if it kills me!

[editor's note: i don't mean this entry to sound tragic. at all. i'm actually in quite a good mood! just...thoughtful.]